Being called a miserable failure is possibly one of the cruelest things that someone can say to you. It is even worse, when you start to believe it yourself, and if you have ever had that thought then you would feel like you have reached rock bottom. It is a good starting point on your path to self-actualization because you cannot go down any further, so the road can only lead upwards.
People who have deemed themselves to be a miserable failure tend to have lost control over the various aspects of their lives. This sense of powerlessness over your own destiny can be incredibly disheartening and the feeling that "I am a failure" will only compound the feeling that you are a miserable failure.
At this point, it is time to take stock, see what areas of your life you can reclaim easily and commit to overcoming failure. You should begin by thinking about the following four areas and where your strengths and weaknesses lie within each one:
One of the biggest causes of feeling like a miserable failure is the lack of goals in your life, or not being able achieve the ones that you have set for yourself. Try sitting down with a pen and paper and working out where you want to be in one, two and five years time in terms of your job, your lifestyle and your relationships.
You can then use this vision to set yourself short-term goals. For example, if you want a better paid job in five years time, then you need to start extra training and further responsibilities right now to get the pay off later.
Your self-esteem is intrinsically linked to how other people view and treat you. Other people have the ability to make you feel like a failure by not trusting you with simple jobs or leaving you out of their plans.
In these situations, you have to be the bigger person and make the first move towards fixing these relationships. This may mean having to say you are sorry or changing your attitude when someone asks you to do something, you do not like. Relationships take a lot of effort but the rewards are great when you get it right.
The stress of having more money leave your account each month than comes in can have a damaging effect on your self-worth. You find yourself less able to do the things that you enjoy and every letter through the door becomes a moment for panic, as it may be another bill that you cannot pay.
Instead of feeling down, you need to take active steps to remedy the situation and learn from failure. See if you can consolidate your debts or negotiate better interest rates. Set yourself savings goals and enjoy the sight of your money increasing each month towards something fun.
Some people feel like they have lost control of their lives when they feel that something is missing or that they should be making more of the time that they have. Feeling fulfilled is a big part of self-actualization and it can take a variety of different forms varying from person to person.
For some, it can be spiritual, while for others it may achieving big challenges. Find what it is that makes you feel like you are being productive and you will notice a big change in your self-esteem.
It can be hard to even think about making these changes when you feel like a miserable failure. This is why it is a good idea to get someone to help you; as the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. This person can help keep you on track when you lose focus and pick you up when your best efforts are not being recognized.